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Oh my goodness, the last few months have been all but overwhelming for me. I have so much that I want to accomplish and create, but it’s been beyond a struggle to carve time out of my life to keep at the projects I’ve started. Over the summer I launched my website, which so far has been a really interesting and enjoyable experience, even if it’s not exactly bursting through the stratosphere. I began publishing ebooks on Amazon and other marketplaces, mostly just to say that I can, but also to try and get my name out there to new corners of what can be a very niche fetish literature market. That whole project isn’t really going anywhere, but it is pretty cool to go on Amazon and find one of my stories showing up on the front page.

Since August, though, I’ve been put into a management role at work, and I’m realizing that a lot of my writing, editing and correspondence took place in the free time I used to find at my job--free time that I no longer have. Slowly and surely I’m finding little moments where I can chip away at my writing, and I’m getting better at finding these moments. I do have two projects I’m working on for SizeCon ‘17 and I just finished a first draft for episode four of Katie, which I’m definitely excited about, but I have so much more I want to do as well. All I’m asking for is more time and money. Is that so much to ask?

So, the long and short is that I’m still as dedicated as ever to exploring wicked and devilish fantasies and sharing all of those stories with the world, but it’s just not moving as quickly as I’d like it to.

Other than that, the other big news in my life is that I’m making more strides in transitioning to a more female life, slowly building a reasonable wardrobe and whatnot and also attending monthly group therapy. The first session I’ve been to was yesterday, and maybe I just expected too much from it, but it wasn’t the exciting, relationship-building, wall-smashing hour and a half that I hoped for. It was a strange experience more than anything else, and while I was able to be supportive of the other group members, I don’t know what I got out of it for myself.

Then, of course, I convinced myself that I’d head to the grocery store in my dress and heels, since I’m such a confident person and all that, and the moment I got there my heel cap came off, leaving me with one heel a full inch shorter than the other, and I also became keenly aware and self-conscious about every single person that walked by me. I’ve talked to my manager and HR director at work about starting to present as female at work and I really thought I was prepared for that. Maybe I still am, but this week feels like I took a step back.

I could talk forever about those sorts of struggles, though. I’m still afraid for my family, for the relationship I have with my absolutely amazing wife, and even more beyond that. Talking about this stuff isn’t compelling or interesting, though, and it’s not what I really wanted to do. I want everyone that cares to know that I’m still here, I’m still writing and I still have big plans. Life is a daily struggle right now and I’m trying so, so hard to see the beauty and hope on the other side, but I don’t know how far away that is. I just have to keep moving forward and trust that there will be a time where I can somehow have my work, my writing, my platform boots, a passionate romance, and happy children all at the same time. Honestly, that can’t be too much to ask, right?

Katie, Episode 3 - Now Available! by SorenZer0
Katie is a very special and unique series for :iconsorenzer0: and me. We set a goal of creating an epic story showcasing a particular cruel, complex and merciless girl through the eyes of one helpless and hapless captive tiny man. We've just published the third episode and have many, many more planned for the future, and it's truly rewarding to see things taking shape in ways far deeper and greater than I ever expected.

Episode three showcases more of Katie's attitude to her helpless, disposable tiny captives. She's been playfully sadistic, and viciously, violently wrathful, but here she's so simply and casually cruel. I really feel like her absolute dominance is even more powerfully displayed here. She ignores her Littles and uses them at her leisure, filling moments of boredom with easy, idle torture. Eric is humbled, humiliated, and lives every moment of his life an instant away from horrid, gruesome death.

I hope you're all enjoying this series as much as I'm enjoying writing it. All three episodes are available through GiantessKatelyn, GiantessLove, and most excitingly, for the first time on my own site,!

Here's the important link, though, if you don't want to wade through my blog posts and whatnot at the moments. All of my collaborations with S0ren are here:

Thank you again for all your support. I can't believe how far we've come and there's so much more planned, for Katie and lots of other really cool ideas, too.

So, I've taken a little time off from interacting and communicating with the size community over the last couple months, but that doesn't mean I haven't been crazy busy working on some very cool things. I have a few things to announce, but the first and most obvious one should be that simply enough, I'm back! I won't say that I'm fully 100% back to Twitter and all the websites and dA on a constant basis, but my blackout is over and it feels very good to reopen the channels of communication with the friends and fans that I love so dearly.

Even more excitingly (assuming that anything can be more exciting than having me around, right? Right?), I've spent the last few weeks building a personal website that I hope can be a new, beautiful all-in-one source for all things Miss Kaneda. I'm in the process of editing, updating and reformatting much of my work to ebook formats for iBooks, Kobo, Nook, Inktera, and Amazon. Don't despair, I won't be disappearing from dA anytime soon. I've been here for eleven years and likely will be until the site crumbles into digital dust. This initiative is about getting my work out into the public view and bringing the highest quality fetish erotica to people that otherwise might never have encountered it. I feel like my stories can be compelling and interesting enough to perhaps push the boundaries of the particular niche interests I revel in, and so far the response I've gotten is relatively encouraging.

Without further ado, I give you!

Hand-in-hand with this new effort, and for many this may be the most exciting element of this journal, I've also just published my newest work, a science-fiction novella entitled Conquest. At more than 30,000 words it's certainly the biggest and most in-depth thing I've ever done, and while I won't go into detail about the plot and characters, since I've done that both in the description and on my site, I will say that there is a whole lot to experience. There's all sorts of crush and violence, there's a tiny army battling a giantess, there's same-size domination and humiliation, there's beautiful stilettos and towering boots, dehumanization, destruction, torments of all sorts, all while telling the tale of a woman longing for fulfillment and power and a man who's lost his world and learns that there's always more that he can lose.

So, please check out Conquest, available now from Amazon and soon to be available at all the other retailers I previously mentioned. Please check out my site, and most of all, if you've loved any of my stories in the past or the new ones you're just discovering, please rate and review anything you can. Ratings are everything in the ebook marketplace, and nothing could help me more.

Thank you, all of you, for everything you've done to bring me to this point.

With love,

Conquest Cover S0ren
Let me just start by saying that SizeCon and everything surrounding it was one of the most amazing and inspiring days of my life. From the moment I found out about the event and its motivation, I was instantly on-board. Inclusiveness, openness, and love were the goals of the event, and from beginning to end, that's completely what I experienced.

Of course, the story of my SIzeCon starts with the travel. I went to bed at one in the morning and then got back up at three to get dressed. As I mentioned in my last journal, it was my first time going out in women's clothes, so there was a little more to it than simply throwing on an outfit and getting out the door. I had everything laid out and planned, but suddenly my shirt was missing, so I had to wake my poor wife from a dead sleep after dashing around for half an hour, sweating nervously as I got closer and closer to missing my train.

From there I got myself into my boots and leggings and dress and hurried out the door, almost too preoccupied by making it to my destination on time to really let what I was doing sink in. I had to stop for gas in town and that's when what I was doing really hit me. So much of me wanted to march into the store and fix myself a coffee and smile at the bleary-eyed attendent, but I'm also still very conscious about how my nature might reflect on my family, so instead I parked as far away as I could and hastily pumped my gas, then dashed off to catch my train in Connecticut.

That's where I saw my first people, and more importantly they saw me. I also realized that I'd never carried a purse before and I wasn't overly comfortable with it quite yet, so there was a fair bit of awkwardness. I smiled at everyone but I didn't talk, and unsurprisingly, nobody said anything to me.

Two hours later I was walking out into Grand Central. I knew my route would take me past the Empire State Building and all along 5th Avenue, and just that simple fact already had me excited. I walked out into the street in a light rain and got my bearings, and from there it was like a different world.

Walking down that famous street with my boots clicking gloriously against the pavement, I could feel the change in me. The poise that overtook my body, the confident, swaying strut that seemed both exciting and natural. Without even realizing it until I was halfway there, my chin was raised and my head held high.

I stopped at a Starbucks and had my first conversation since leaving the house. I told the surprisingly kind girl there about SizeCon and, while leaving out some of the details about violence and sadism, I told her that I was an author and that I wrote stories about size fantasies, and she was adorably receptive and encouraging even through her certain confusion.

Then I was at the venue and it was about 9:20. Things were still being set up and people were very busy, but I met Bryan and he was quite sweet, panicked and ill. I discovered that I was still scheduled to moderate four panels and participate in three more, so I freaked out just a little bit and prepared to spend pretty much my entire day in the sweltering little panel room.

Speaking of panels, and I totally will talk about them a lot more as I go, but I also met Taedis almost immediately after arriving and I seriously could not have asked for a better panel buddy than this totally fine man. Immediately I commented on his professional attire, and I think he was really the first person to surprise me with his openness, honesty, and friendliness. We volunteered and worked together, though not really side-by-side, to somewhat facilitate the setup and very vague guidelines for how the panels would run, and I was worried we'd both gotten in over our heads, but it turned out that he was an amazing "trained monkey in a suit," as he'd often say, and though I can't even remember exactly what it was that was said during the Ladies' Panel that he moderated and I participated on (with nervous reservation, being neither physically or persistently a woman), but one of the deepest moments of affection I experienced during the convention as a whole was shared with him. Taedis, thank you for being so magnificently you.

M31 approached me pretty early on, perhaps as the first person I actually talked to (though the events really are somewhat of a blur by now), and it was my first experience having someone just walk up out of the blue and say how much of a fan they were. I truly had no idea how to react, but at the same time I was overwhelmed with gratitude and delight. That's probably when it hit me that I was where I was and I am who I am.

From there I noticed a woman with a tiny notepad, and I approached her and asked if she happened to be the reporter who was attending. Tracy was incredibly friendly and kind, and when I volunteered to talk to her at any point if she had any questions (since she'd been asked not to approach people herself), she immediately took me aside and we talked at length about how I came to be there, my motivations and involvement with the community, my background and my desire to help others feel comfortable and confident about themselves and their desires. I saw her many times throughout the day being truly engaged and involved, even trying out the green screen and giving her best stompy pose. Awesome person, and I can't wait to see her story when it's published.

Pretty soon after that Binary Prophet found me. We haven't talked a terribly great amount, but he did help edit a story of mine before and we've interacted a little bit before in the Giantessworld chat. In the days leading up to the event, though, he contacted me because he was absolutely distraught about accidentally suggesting that I might be trans in a conversation with some people involved with the convention. Immediately I was overwhelmed with affection for both his incredible distress and his deep concern for me, and one of the things I was looking forward to most was throwing my arms around him and giving him the best of hugs.

Somewhere in that mix I was greeted by my Group 11 friends, which was a result of SizeCon's buddy survey grouping up some people with relatively similar interests. We hadn't talked a tremendous amount but I'd reached out to them for a little bit of support when I was putting my outfit together and getting ready to finally go out, so Raksr and Saftkeur, even though we only spoke briefly, I'm glad to have a Twitter connection and enjoy seeing your names pop up here and there.

JDO showed up at some point possibly before that or after, and that was really the first long-term "size friend" of mine that I really encountered. I'm not nearly as active in the community as I used to be, so I don't have a lot of people that I talk to with much regularity save for really SorenZer0, since we collaborate almost constantly, but JDO and I go back several years to my first real emergence on GiantessCity. It's hard to express how uplifting and exciting and cool it was to meet someone like that in real life after years of knowing each other and talking off and on, even if it was mostly arguments about the (extensive and amazing) merits of Uggs, and even if he's totally a little bastard.

My first panel that I participated in was the Giant Women panel, and I have to admit that the panels in general are all kind of a blur. The thing about the panels that kind of connected to the whole theme of the day, though, was that there was an incredible amount of participation from the audience and there was never a moment of silence. I think that once we all got started talking about our passions and fantasies that, for many of us, had been suppressed and hidden for most if not all of our lives, it was so liberating and thrilling to just keep talking.

Most significantly, though, was that this was the first time I'd really gotten to meet and interact with Veronica, AKA Jitenshasw. I knew a little bit about her and had heard her talk a little bit in some of the planning stages for the convention, mostly during an extended Skype call where a lot of panel details were somewhat ironed out, but hearing her talk about "Size" with a capital S, as it were, was absolutely incredible. Her passion, candor, excitement and openness was not only a delight, but an absolute inspiration. All throughout the day, her presence on the panels was powerful and I admire the absolute crap out of this totally amazing girl.

Another very cool thing about this panel was that I sat next to Katelyn Brooks, and aside from that just being a rather cool thing on its own, what I really enjoyed was having a chance to get her perspectives on what brought her to the world of Size fantasy and what she enjoyed about her own work and experiences. For all the people out there who give her hell for being who she is and doing what she does, they couldn't be more wrong. She's such a cool, genuine person, and while her perspectives and background are certainly different than mine, I respect and appreciate where she comes from and more than that, the tremendously open and forward way she embraces her fantasies, too.

Quick example, and hopefully this isn't spoiling anything too much before she releases it, but she mentioned that she'd been going around New York just interviewing people at random on the street, asking them what they would do if they were tiny and she was after them, trying to crush them. At least that's the general jist of it, and to me that's just such an awesome idea that I would previously never have had the mindset to even imagine something like that happening, let alone being delighted by the concept. Katelyn, as most people who've met her have said, is just an awesome human being.

As I left the panel room after that to catch a breath, I ran straight into Nyx, Theophilous Bolt, and JDO again. There was a little bit of shock as I kind of caught up with my mind because, you have to understand, these are pretty much my Size idols. Nyx, beyond being an excellent writer who enjoys my work and being a tremendously generous woman in the community as a whole, tolerating and indulging far more people than I think I could ever manage and putting herself out there in ways I've been impressed with time and time again, has also recently become a little more than that to me with some really heartfelt encouragement in the weeks before the convention.

And Theophilous is an even more unique case, mostly because I don't know if I've ever actually talked to him directly. He's almost like this shadowy, brilliant giant male figure looming somewhere, being immense and terrifying, but I remember reading some of his stories like, over a dozen years ago and being really impressed, and then there's the fact that he and Nyx are the most amazing First Couple of Size in my mind, too. The stories they've put out together are just, oh my gosh, if you haven't experienced either of their work, just do it.

Long and short, they were even cooler, sweeter, and more fun than I could have expected. Theophilous immediately knew copious details of the Spider Man and his Amazing Friends episode I mentioned with Red Skull, and also was this amazing font of strangely interesting but totally uncommon, bizarre knowledge. We also bonded over the merits and troubles of buying boots on Aliexpress. We'd meet back up again and again along with JDO throughout the afternoon and evening, being fun and familiar faces that we could all take comfort in together.

I went to the Size Fetish and Relationships panel after that, and I think more than any of the panels I attended or participated in this was the most encouraging and moving. Once again, hearing Veronica talk about her struggles and how she opened the doors to incorporating her fantasies into her marriage was absolutely awesome. She was great for providing so many examples of the little, simple, fun things they did to create a regular sense of enjoyment and excitement in her relationship, and so much of that helped me by showing that it's just not such a Big Fucking Deal to have some size fetishes, and that a loving partner, even one that's totally vanilla, will care about their partner's needs and wants to help and share, even if the journey takes a lot of steps along the way.

Juliekat and BustArtist were also just so spectacular to listen to. Their relationship is so deep and pure, and again, the greatest takeaway I feel like I got from this panel in particular was just the little, sometimes even silly things that they do for one another. The fetishes and fantasies are just another section and element of a successful relationship, and the things couples do to help one another out can be as simple and common as helping out with household tasks as well.

The night gets a little more blurry from here, as I was running on about an hour and a half of sleep and the venue, especially the panel room where I spent most of the day, was oppressively muggy and hot. A couple times through the day I met up with a really fun couple and talked to them a bunch, and I totally don't have the faintest clue what their names were. The woman had these totally cute yellow heels and the guy enjoyed my work, and they both had a lot of really cool questions. I think that you both sat pretty far forward during the Dark Side panel maybe and talked about varying power dynamics, and the phrase "Smack my ass harder!" remains in my mind. If you're out there and reading this, say hello and remind me who you are, because I really enjoyed talking to you every time we spoke and would hate to lose track of you for a whole year.

I also at some point met Mythical Cupcake and her girlfriend Tiny Jellyfish Fairy, and they were both so generous and awesome and truly delightful to talk with. That's another thing about this convention that was beyond cool: meeting people from outside my particular sphere of influence in the Size community and finding out how awesome they could be, and even sharing and comparing thoughts and perspectives that just showed how much even people with what would seem like totally different interests still could share and have in common. Don't be a stranger, you two, I look forward to e-mailing and getting to know each other even more.

I ran the Expansion and Inflation panel and the Vore Panel after that, and I have to be totally thankful for the panelists and audience members in both as they really helped me through both. I feel like I started flagging a little by the time we got about halfway into the Vore panel and to the vore lovers out there, I apologize for letting you down. I was exhausted and underprepared, but once again Veronica stepped up and kept things rolling, and Kreeyz actually put together a slideshow that kept things moving along.

After that I participated in the Ladies' Panel, which to me was a very nervewracking thing to be a part of for the reasons I've mentioned before. While I've had a female online persona for many, many years now and certainly experienced the difficulties and harrassment that others have, there's also the fact that I can turn all of it off and go back to the male life I've always had, too. The stories and the struggles that everyone shared were difficult to hear and really made for a challenging environment, though everyone was very receptive and appreciative of the things everyone had to say. In a way, I think that the slightly different perspective I could bring to the panel might have added more than detracted from anything, but overall, hopefully the message of civility and respect spreads from where it started, and more of these events where real people see other real people and can understand who it is sitting on the other side of a computer when they type crass, pushy, and cruel things out with such ease... I don't know, I want there to be progress and hope, and even if it's small I think there's a chance for community building and progress that comes from all of what started at SizeCon.

The Dark Side Panel was what I'd been living for all day. Oh my god, I wish it could have gone for four hours. All in all, I was kind of surprised at the size of the audience and how engaged and connected they were to the subject. Also, Binary Prophet sat in on this panel right next to me, and I just love this guy to death for having the courage to join me up there. Hearing him talk about his thoughts and desires and urges was really, really cool, and it seemed like he and Theophilous bonded somewhat over a brief back and forth about brutal, unstoppable, almost animalistic destruction, which was also really cool for me to see.

I also LOVED having the chance to say so many things about what I dream of both out loud and with an audience. Espousing the virtues of dehumanizing tiny people, crushing their hearts and spirits and bodies, delving into why it's just so appealing to break people and use their lives as disposable toys or momentary pleasurable entertainment... it was awesome to see people looking back at me, nodding as I talked about the things I'd do to a particular audience member if they were tiny.

Veronica shined here again, too, and it was beyond enlightening to have the perspective of someone who identifies as tiny sharing the details of just how compelling and exciting it was to imagine the most horrid of things happening to her. I seriously cannot ever in one lifetime give enough credit to her.

From there, it was drinks, conversation, and winding down, and after that a very long journey home that saw me getting in the shower at about 5:30 in the morning after stripping off my sweat-soaked leggings and trying to stretch my horribly throbbing toes.

SizeCon, though, was truly one of the most exceptional and inspiring events I've ever experienced in my life. From beginning to end, there was this amazing air of total positivity and love that I could feel, really feel all day long. So many people were excited to meet me, or just so totally encouraging and uplifting in so many different ways, and I remember the first time I started talking about crushing someone in the palm of my hand and how I curled my fingers into a fist to demonstrate it, how I had to actually stop and say the words, "I can't believe I'm actually talking about this out loud."

It was liberating, fulfilling, and vitalizing, and I was totally heartbroken to leave at the end of the night, but when I came home, I was so filled with confidence and positivity that I couldn't wait to talk with my wife and open up about everything I'd been holding back. Even though I'd discussed my fantasies before and shared my stories and done so much more with her than I thought I ever could, I realized how reserved and guilty I still felt when it came to discussing anything to do with my fantasies and that I still kept so much to myself because I felt that it was just asking too much for someone to actually accept everything about me and that it was wrong of me to put such an imposition and strain on somebody I loved, or at least that was part of what I told myself but there was also the fact that I never really got past being scared, too.

I was ready to trust people with who I actually am because not only had I been shown that there was nothing wrong with that person, but I'd experienced what it was like to just put every bit of myself out there, and if a room full of complete strangers could embrace and love me for who I was, it was beyond foolish that I couldn't trust the person who accepts and loves me more than anyone in the world to have the ability to do all that and more.

We've talked some so far and we have a lot more talking and work to do as I figure things out for my future and our continued and evolving future together, but I'm optimistic, hopeful, and for the first time possibly ever, confident about myself and being myself. I hope and really do believe that a lot of people brought this sort of feeling back to their homes, and it's my fervent, sincere hope that all of us take that feeling and use it to make our lives and world better.

So please, if you felt amazing, different, special at SizeCon, don't let the feelings and fears and emptiness that might have been there before back into your life. Stay in touch, keep the conversation and the good feelings going and reach out to the people you met. This whole thing was about building each other up and learning that we all deserve appreciation and love, no matter what we've felt or been told in the past.

I will be here because I love what we've done together, and I love what our community can be and can accomplish, but I do have a little bit of a tough announcement to accompany all of this, too. Over the past few months I've really struggled and strained my family to put everything together for this convention and as I mentioned a little bit ago, I've come home with this energy and drive and commitment to build and advance my relationship with my wife, which unfortunately has suffered many times in the moments where I turned to the community for the appreciation, love, and approval I should have sought at home. For a few weeks or a few months, I'm not sure which, I'm going to step away from Twitter and DeviantArt and really focus on my life at home, and when I'm ready to come back I hope to bring her with me, in some way either literally or figuratively.

I'm still going to work on my writing and my stories, and if you send me a note or e-mail I'll still be checking and responding to those here and there, so don't worry. I promise I'm not going anywhere, and I'm sure you'll see me at a meetup or at the very least SizeCon '17. Thank you everyone for all you've done for me, to everyone I met Saturday that shared a part of themselves with me, and thank you SizeCon and all of the wonderful volunteers that poured themselves into making this a reality. Well, well done, and I can't wait to be an even bigger part of helping with next year's event.

With love,
So, I'm sitting in the train on my way to SizeCon, and if the person I was years ago could see me right now they'd be beyond shocked. You might be too, seeing as how nobody but the smallest handful of people I know online actually have seen me, though that would be for different reasons.
I'm going to appear in front of more than a hundred people in a matter of hours, and when that moment happens, it's going to be a moment that's brought together all of these different parts of myself into one nervously exuberant human being.

Here's the deal. I'm transgendered, or at least I'm pretty sure that I am, though I still don't really know quite what that means. I've kept my physical gender to myself for the time that I've spent online and in our community for multiple reasons. I could say first that it's really an immaterial fact and that it's my own business, but the truth is that I liked having a place where I could very simply feel female without quite so many complications.

If you feel confused or hurt or misled or betrayed while you're reading this, it's my hope that you'll move past those feelings soon enough. Who I am is who I am, but very soon I'm going to walk out into a room full of people as a 6'5" chromosomal male dressed in leggings and boots and an awesome fuchsia and black cami if I do say so myself. You're all going to find out and I want the story to be my own.
More than a decade ago I fell into the idea of roleplaying a female online though some accidental encounters in an MMO, and very quickly I became obsessed with it. It was my shameful secret, and I knew a few people who I talked to regularly as I explored these imagined dominant relationships with them through chat rooms and the like.

It was still just something that took place in the background of my life, though, and it wasn't until years later when I transitioned to deeper and richer roleplaying on Eka's Portal, creating these complex and engaging female characters of all sorts and just existing as them for hours a day, interacting with people of all sorts.

From there I started writing stories and embracing my own sort of identity as I took a larger profile in the size fetish community, through forums and chat rooms that let me mingle my own identity with this persona I was crafting as well.

When I joined Twitter, my daily life became more and more entwined with the woman I'd been becoming online, and at home I began embracing more of those elements, too, investing in thigh-highs and cute shoes but not going any further than that, and exploring different dynamics in my relationship with my wife as well (and yes, I have a wife. She's a beautiful, understanding, supportive bisexual woman and gave birth to our two boys. Some of my greatest guilt is pretending to be a mother, because my children's mother has more strength and love than anyone I've ever known).

When SizeCon was announced I became instantly fascinated with the idea of creating a place where people could feel safe and be open about their secret fantasies. I'd wrestled with mine for most of my life, thinking my cruel and violent fantasies and obsessions a horrid curse, that I was somehow defective and broken and would never know happiness. I've come through that and have the life I've always dreamed of, and I knew immediately that I wanted to do whatever I could to be there and help anyone else struggling with the same things, and that I'd do whatever possible to help make this event a reality.

So I was attending. But I was a man with a woman's identity. I wrestled with this too, but eventually came to the conclusion that I'd go dressed as a woman. From that moment, from the first dress I bought, I became completely entranced with putting together outfits for myself and creating a look that felt right, because when I put on these clothes it was just that. It felt right.

I've long been deeply interested in women's fashion and style, and once I started buying things for myself I couldn't stop. I spent far too much money and struggled for months trying to put together something I wouldn't feel ridiculous in, and I think I've gotten there. The thing is, though, that if it weren't for SizeCon I wouldn't have made this leap. I wouldn't have learned these things about myself and I could have gone years still feeling strangely out of place and disconnected from my looks and body.

Not only is this the first time I've left the house in women's clothes, but it's the first time I've ever worn them, and I'm headed to New York to speak on stage in front of all these people I don't know and I feel more alive than I ever have. If I can do this, there's nothing any of you can't do. This is a truly special day and experience that at times I've been so nervous about that it made me physically ill, but now as I sit on a train with my scarf and my earrings and my hairband, surrounded by strangers as I type all this out, I'm thankful that this moment's come.
I want to be me, and that's all that I am. Take me for that and I hope you still can appreciate all the same things about me that made you enjoy me and my work before. I'm sure there's a lot of questions out there, and if there's anything you want to ask, feel free to comment and I'll respond to everything when I have the chance.

My name's Josh, and I'm Miss Kaneda. Can't wait to meet everyone at the Con.
Available Now! ''Madison'' by SorenZer0
When I heard about SizeCon and it started to look like the event was going to become a reality, :iconsorenzer0: and I wanted to do something that could help benefit the cause. A lot of edits and conversations and debates later, we came up with this idea: a story about a girl who struggles with her own desires, much like so many people in our community struggle with their interests and desires as well.

Madison is a quiet girl. She's a nice girl. But somewhere buried deep, deep within her is a longing for things no nice girl should ever want.

First things first, you can check out the story here.…

Most importantly, when you buy this new 50+ page story before April 23 (the day of the convention), part of the sale will go directly to SizeCon. I'm tremendously proud to be contributing to such a special and important event, and I hope you'll feel a little of that too when you're reading.

Beyond that, it's hard to believe that SizeCon is only a month away! I think everyone, myself included, is probably at least a little anxious and nervous about the whole thing. I'm coming close to tearing my hair out just trying to decide what I'm going to wear. All the same, I can't wait to see as many of you as possible in NYC.

Enjoy "Madison." Enjoy each other, and we'll talk soon, okay, sizies?


It seems harder and harder to stick to my monthly journal plan, but when big and exciting things happen it certainly compels me to share, so without further ado...

Episode Two is here! Obligatory links: GiantessKatelyn and GiantessLove

If you're not familiar, "Katie" is a huge, ambitions project for :iconsorenzer0: and me. We wanted to do something more involved, so we're creating an ongoing episodic series telling the story of Katie, a ruthlessly sadistic teen, and her developing relationship with a particular Little man, releasing a new episode every few months with likely more than a dozen episodes planned.

If you haven't caught Episode One yet, here's the links for that: GiantessKatelyn and GiantessLove

We waited for a while to publish Episode Two for the best of reasons. S0ren invested in a huge upgrade to his hardware, and has switched over to using Iray for rendering his exquisite art. As much as I was enthralled by what we did in Episode One, there's no denying how frighteningly gorgeous Episode Two is. It's beautiful, it's hot, check it out.

As for other things, we're certainly going to start on Episode Three in the next couple of weeks, but for right now we're working on something special for SizeCon. Again, if you're not familiar, here's a link:

From the beginning, I've really believed in the idea of SizeCon and wanted to do what I could to help make it a success. I've corresponded withh Jitensha briefly before and truly respect her earnest efforts in building a better community for all of us, and I truly love the idea of there being a place where something that, in many cases, is so personal and private and even shameful for many of us can be shared and discussed and even celebrated. S0ren has been a little more involved with the project, but as a writer, I wanted to do what I do best, and write for SizeCon. We'll be releasing something soon with a portion of the proceeds benefiting SizeCon, and of course, if you can make it to NYC in April, you can buy your tickets now. I will be there, though I haven't decided if I'll be somewhat undercover, so to speak, or if I'll plaster Miss Kaneda on my namebadge and say hello to all of you, and while it's a long, long, long trip for S0ren, I'm hoping he finds a way to make it out, too.

Other than that, I'm still picking away at my bigger works-in-progress, "Conquest" and "Andrea," which I've shared previews of on my little-used Tumblr. Neither one is quite rolling along right now, but I'd call both more than half finished. As always, there's too much to write and too little time, but I'm doing my best and enjoying my work, which is all I could really want.

So, for now, thank you for reading and thank you for continuing to support me and my work. I'll do my best to not take four months between now and my next journal.



Tonight, after more than two years, it's finally coming out.

Remember Lydia? 

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Get ready for some more of her.
Hello everyone, little and otherwise. I'll have more to say in the coming weeks, but it felt like a fair time to slip in and give a little update to my friends and fans. First and foremost, I recently shared a story I'm quite delighted with, "Popular Girls," that hopefully you all have had the chance to enjoy. If not, here's the obligatory link: 

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I've got another story coming up soon, and it's one that I originally wrote for :iconemmagear:'s SSStories project. It was a short-lived idea with several authors, many that I consider friends, working together to write stories on a theme and then selling them in a bundle for a very reasonable price. I liked the concept quite a bit, but it didn't quite take off this time. So, as soon as I find some time to get my uploads together, you'll all get to enjoy a little time with Ranavalona, my capricious, cruel dimension-hopping sorceress princess in exile. I haven't had the pleasure of writing about for far too long, and hopefully those that remember her from my earliest works will enjoy seeing her back.

An important note on all this. If you're one of the precious few who bought this story through SSStories, please contact me with your purchase information so I can offer a refund.

As for current matters, I do have a lot of things that I'm working on, and the biggest is very close to being released. :iconsorenzer0: and I have something quite exciting coming soon, and it's only the beginning of a big, big, big project (size-fetish double entendre not intended). I also have a couple of side projects that are almost certainly going to be breaking the fifty page mark if not the hundred, so that's what's been wrapping up my time. I promise I'm going to try and get a few shorter stories mixed in here and there, as these long content droughts weigh on me.

Now for the personal updates. It's been a long couple of weeks and I've been having terrible struggles sitting down to write. My husband was sort of forced to quit his job, although I view that as a tremendous blessing as he was far too good to be wasting his time there anyhow and I'd much rather have him at home managing the house and raising the kids. Even though it's a good thing, today is his last day there and there's bound to be some stress and adjustments.

My oldest son's fourth birthday is this weekend, and the house is a mess. As silly as it sounds, I'm really stressed about having this couple we met at the playground over and letting them see our embarrassing home. They're like the perfect little family, and comparing ourselves to them creates this gnawing strain that I find far more distressing than I should.

Beyond that, everyone in the house has some version of this nasty cold. I'm sure we'll get over it soon, as we're all a hardy bunch, but it's just one more thing that saps my strength.

Here's the plan, though. I've put in a request for my first vacation at work, starting on Sunday and going for a week. It's time for a reset and a fresh start, and I expect to set up routines and systems at home, get my husband settled in to living the stay-at-home life, and finishing up what work I have left on at least the project I have going with my lovely and talented friend S0ren. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you for following me, thank you for your feedback, and thank you for your excitement for the future. I share it, it's just harder for me to squeal with delight. My throat hurts.


So my whole idea about monthly journals has pretty much fallen apart with the expansion of my family. That being said, I'll try to briefly update the world on my life in this brief moment of serenity I happen to have.

"Disposable" has been out and selling well for a little while now. Thank you for that, my friends and fans both big and small. Hopefully :iconsorenzer0: and I can collaborate again soon on something beautifully twisted for all of you.

For something exciting and new, :iconemmagear: has opened a little operation she's calling "Short Size Stories," or "SSStories" if you want to be a little more clever. Several talented authors have partnered up with Emma to offer brief stories at very modest prices, myself included. We started out all writing stories based on the theme of new stores opening, believe it or not, and I have to say I kind of liked the idea of a bunch of writers working on stories loosely grouped together around the same subject. I don't know where we'll go from here, but check out what's available so far at I wrote a little story about Ranavalona visiting a fancy boutique to acquire a new outfit, and if you've met her in my previous stories, you know some sassy, sadistic cruelty is certainly in store for those who cross her path.

Other than that, my birthday was on the third, and for everyone that sent well-wishes my way, thank you. I spent a nice day with my family, and the next morning I had a major breakthrough on a new story I'm working on. Writers, you know that moment where your first two pages feel like unimaginable rubbish, and then you hit that instant where it turns the corner and become thrilling and a pleasure to keep putting paragraph after paragraph on your blank pages. Aside from watching someone get arrested for heroin possession while at dinner with my parents, it may have been the most rewarding moment of my two-day birthday celebration.

For my writing, I have a huge pet project that I've been obsessively working on, my little thing on SSStories that I just finished, a piece that may very well turn into my next illustrated collaboration, and then a thoroughly violent commission that I'll be sharing once that's done. All in all, I have a lot of things I'm working on and each of them is either well under way or thoroughly planned, and I'm excited to not have the pressure of commitments holding me back.

Thank you as always for your attention, love, and support, little ones. Your affection and worship and, occasionally, conversation keeps me entertained and motivated to put what little spare time I have into writing my stories for you.


It's been almost a year and a half since I started work on what would become my first professional publication. It's been a lot of work and a more involved process than anything I've ever done before, but the second part has just been posted to :icongiantesskatelyn:'s site.

The story's first draft was finished all the way back in October of last year, and my good friend :iconsorenzer0: fell in love with the story and we decided to partner on putting it together as an illustrated book. I've never done so much revising and rewriting, but all of the effort has been more than worthwhile. Letting Lindsey and Jessica fill my fantasies for more than a year certainly wasn't the worst thing, and now that the project is actually complete, I'm tremendously proud of S0ren's efforts and what we've done together, and I can't wait to get started on whatever we're going to do next.

To the many, many people who supported us and purchased part one, thank you. You've shown me that there's a possibility for a professional future in embracing my passion for penning my cruel and violent fantasies and I can't say how much I appreciate that.

If you haven't had the chance, here's the links. I earnestly believe that there is no better publication of violent, sadistic giantess and crush material out there, and if you like anything about what S0ren and I do, you'll absolutely love Disposable.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Disposable Part II - Now Available! by SorenZer0
I know it hasn't been incredibly long since the last time we talked, my lovely little followers, but it feels like it's been forever. Here's the story of my recent life. My second little boy, Apollo, as born on June 4th. He's perfect, healthy and huge, a little over eleven pounds when he was born, and things are going decently enough at home though I'm slowly realizing that having two sons is pretty much like having twice as many kids. It's exhausting and a whole lot of work.

As you can imagine, that leaves me with barely enough time to breathe, let alone time to write or do anything else really for myself.  That being said, there's still some things to look forward to from me in the coming weeks and months. Another little collaboration with SorenZer0 should be coming soon, and I stayed up way later than I should have last night to finish up the advertising for the second part of "Disposable," which should be going up sometime in the next few weeks as well. Those things alone are pretty exciting, right?

There's another collaboration that I've talked about a few times as well. It's something that I actually finished my writing for around a year ago, and from what I can tell the project is in the editing, formatting and illustrating stage, so hopefully that comes together soon.

I also started a new story, believe it or not, and I have just a bit of Flare Rising to wrap up before I get to editing on that. I'm going to try very hard to find an hour or so to write at least two or three days a week, since I really miss having new concepts and stories out there for people to experience and enjoy. I'll see how that plan goes for now, but hopefully it's something I can stick with.

So, thank you followers and fans, tiny and otherwise, for all of the well wishing over the past months. I look forward to finding a new routine and finding my way back into the community a bit more over the rest of this year, and I'm sure you'll all be the better for my presence, as always.

Appreciatively and gloriously,

So, it's been a long time fans and friends. Those that have been paying attention know that I have my second little boy on the way in a little over two months, and I'm both tremendously excited and somewhat terrified by that idea. Between the tough winter, the new job and unforeseen expenses here and there, there's been and fair amount of stress in my life, and consequently my free time and erotic imagination have both suffered quite a bit.

I talked with my friend :icontinyone234: about this a little bit, and it's something that I know I'd have to overcome if I ever want to take my writing in an more professional direction, but I just can't write unless I feel somewhat sexual. It's been a challenge to capture those feeling recently, but my magnificent husband has helped restore some of my energy and excitement for things beyond the mundane everyday requirements of work, housekeeping and commuting.

I've started on a new quick collaboration, done some work on Flare Rising and started in earnest on the second half of Izanami. Work is progressing on a big collaborative project that's been in the works since October, and my part of that is nearly wrapped up. I have a lot of excitement and optimism for that, and hopefully I'll have and few things coming out together around there since the last year has been very sparse for releases from me.

As for the rest of my time, I put some effort into getting a feel for competitive VGC pokemon, picked up XCOM and just downloaded Bloodborne this morning. I started watching The Unbreakable Jimmy Schmidt the other day and absolutely love it, and have an unfortunate Pokemon Shuffle addiction.  I mentioned this on Twitter, too, but I sat down and read every bit of :iconzanderasgoth17:'s After Shrink School, and while there's tons of jarring technical errors, I unexpectedly found myself fascinated with the world he's imagined and the characters he's created. Check it out, especially if you've played the game.  If not, gosh, go get it. Shrink School was amazing.

Just to keep things fresh, I think I might start posting scraps or small samples of in-progress or unfinished works here and there.  I thought of opening a WordPress for that purpose but someone's already reserved my name, which is its own bunch of confusing frustrations in and of itself. If anyone has a suggestion about other sites I could use on ways to go about that, leave a comment, please.

Be well, my little ones. See you soon, or perhaps, for your sakes, it may be better if I don't.

Gosh, it's been over two months since my last journal entry.  I'm really not keeping up well, am I?  It's probably necessary to remind everyone that cares that I'm not disappearing or going inactive, but the last... jeez.  The last year as a whole was a hectic mess.  2014 can go die in a hole.  I spent half of the year unemployed, and in the rest of the year I've had three different jobs, compared to having a grand total of two over the ten years before that.  I'm used to a very stable life, but hey, we made it through.

Here's the rest of my recent life in a nutshell as well.  To combine some very difficult news for me with some very amazing news, my grandmother died last week and I'm still processing that.  I won't go into detail eulogizing her here, but instead simply say that she was a truly amazing woman who overcame so, so much in her life and loved so many people with a raw and pure intensity that I've never seen equaled.  Her funeral is still to come, and after that and spending some time with my family I'll probably do better settling my feelings, but I know that I was tremendously lucky to have her in my life and to have her for so long.

The other side of the news train is that my second son is due June 1st.  I'm incredibly excited even though I have no idea how we're going to manage this big change in our lives.  We figured it out for my first little boy, so I'm confident we'll do just as well this time.

To more relevant news!  I know I haven't published anything in a good while, and it's not because I haven't been writing (although I haven't been doing as much as I should be, honestly).  I have two collaborative works in the pipeline that I've finished writing for, one of which may actually be coming relatively soon and the other kind of relies on a lot of people, so we'll all have to wait and see on that.

In other news, if you like tiny innocent people meeting their brutal and ends at the hands of playful, merciless girls, why haven't you checked out Crush 2: Kat and Mouse yet?

Seriously, :icontinyone234: and :iconsorenzer0: are two of my favorite people in the world.  You all know I love stepping on you little shits more than anything else, but every once in a while you've got to squeeze and smash and shred some tiny people with your bare hands.  Jenni and Lauren do it well.

That. Is. It.  I'll really try to keep these journals monthly at least like I used to.  Right now I just have pretty much no routine at all.  Wish me luck, little twits and ladyfriends.

I'm trying to get back to doing at least one journal entry a month, right?  There's not a lot of huge updates to talk about in all reality, though.  My new job is pretty swell, and I think I will be finding a little more time to get some writing in here and there.  I've got regular days off now every Monday and Tuesday, and I'm trying to not spend all of that time with Smash and Bayonetta and whatnot.  I'm actually making decent and relatively steady progress on a commission I've been working on for a few months, and when that's done I'll be making a small contribution to my friend ::iconasdlaker::'s tremendously enjoyable Afterschool Harrasment series.  I've written a small thing for him before that ended up not being wholly canon if I remember correctly, as I kind of couldn't resist killing off one of the characters (as seen here: 

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Anyhow, that's what the future of writing holds for me at least.  There's also some big things going on with my family that I'm not super ready to talk about yet, but all the news is good for anyone overly concerned about me.  Hopefully I'll have something for you all to enjoy by the end of the month, and after that I have hopes that my next couple projects will flow a little more swiftly.

Thanks, friends little and otherwise.  We'll speak again soon.

When I first started up this whole DeviantArt thing, I committed to doing a monthly journal at the very least, and I have this feeling that it's been way more than a month since the last time that I've done one of these.  I haven't been very active recently, but I want everyone to know that I'm still around.  For those that weren't aware, I started a new job back in June working as a manager at a pretty nice shoe store.  The job was alright, but the commute was often more than two hours each way and it's been killing me for a long while now.  I thought I'd be able to do some writing and other things on the bus and train, but I find that I keep just getting nauseos and/or falling asleep.

So, I quit.  I'll be starting a commission-based sales position at the end of the month and I'm incredibly optimistic about what that will mean for me in both the financial and free-time departments.  The only downside is that I'm going to be dressing way more nicely than I've ever dressed in a professional environment, but obviously I can so deal with that.  Shopping excuse, go!

Also, Destiny came out.  My husband's pretty obsessed with it, and I enjoy playing it with him so that's been taking up what few hours I've had that I'm not spending at work, though that's not to say that I haven't been writing.  I finished something for :iconcrushedboywonder: last month that will be tremendously exciting when he's finished compiling the other contributors' work for the collaboration.  It's very strange for me to have work done that hasn't been published, but it'll be completely worth it when it comes out.  I'm whittling away at my outstanding commissions now as well, though the going's been kind of slow.  The hope on my end is that October will be a very productive month, but we'll see how it goes.

That's about it, internet friends.  Sorry I've been quiet so long.  There's always my twitter (at)MissKaneda if you really truly miss me, though.

If you haven't checked it out, you also need to jump over to Katelyn Brooks's site and investigate "Naked."  :iconsorenzer0:'s art is incredible as always, and if you don't know :iconemmagear:'s work by now I don't know where you've been.
Hey, I got a job!  For anyone not following the adventures of my exceedingly interesting life on Twitter (MissKaneda, twits.  Hop on), I'm now a manager at Nine West.  The job takes me into the city, so the commute is killer, but at least I'm working and not desperately afraid of how I'm going to make ends meet.

About half the time I've been trying to use mass transportation, be it bus or rail, and I had this thought that it would give me all this time to try and catch up on the writing I've been having trouble pushing myself to do.  I have some ideas for stories I want to get to and I pretty much have the rest of "Flare Rising" mapped out in my head, too, but there are commission obligations that I need to get to.  If you've commissioned me, I promise promise promise that I haven't forgotten you, I've just been having a really hard time finding a way to follow up "Laurel is Dead."  I've laid some of the introductory groundwork for a short commission that I'm working on, and have ideas for another longer piece that I've promised to work on as well, but it turns out that I forgot how motion sick I get when reading/writing/gaming in vehicles.  Hopefully I'll adjust soon and be able to not only get to some writing but also actually get somewhere in Link Between Worlds before the new Pokemon games come out.

Aside from that, I'm pretty active on Pokebattle, the new Pokemon battling simulator built primarily around a point-based teambuilding system.  It's pretty cool, look for me as Team Flare Chloe there.  I'm easy to find because I'm voiced.

All in all, things are pretty good.  I'm a week into my new job, and I spend a lot of my time selling shoes to tourists, which is a lot more demanding than I expected.  At least most of my customers tend to be having a good time and, when they speak English, are relatively fun to deal with.  Things could absolutely be worse.

If I didn't say this last month, it's probably best that I list commissions as officially closed for the time being.  I want to honor the commitments I have and do a little work on my own storied before I get back into doing things for others.  Again, for those who've commissioned me currently, thank you for admiring me and having patience with me as well.  If you want to check in with me I do still check my notes on here rather frequently.

Hope the lot of you are keeping it together.  Let's all get through the summer together, huh?

DidactsandNarpets, cool as it was being a semi-obscure old Rush reference and all, is no more.  Big thanks to :iconghostie98765: for the premium membership, now I can officially be MissKaneda, as I was meant to be!
Okay!  First things first, if you're reading this and you haven't read "Laurel is Dead", go do that.  Like seriously, I just posted it last night.  Go.  Do it.  Link:

In all seriousness, I haven't put out anything in a long time and that's for a number of reasons, but a big part of that is that I've been working on this one for a long time.  :iconghostie98765: gave me some basic ideas that sounded really cool, but I really struggled with how I was going to connect them all in one story for a few weeks.  Eventually, the idea for the sort of complicated series of events that would create a woman that could do all of the things I wanted her to do and still possess a believable emotional state and motivation came together and I loved the idea so much that I just took off with it and admittedly got a little carried away.

In many ways, I think "Laurel" could be three stories in one, and I couldn't resist giving as much detail as possible to each of the story's segments as I went along.  The concepts really pushed me out of my comfort zone, too, so there were times where I really had to struggle to find the right, best way to progress from one moment to the next.  I'm thankful for that and I feel like writing this story has expanded my abilities just that much more.

So, obviously I'm really excited about this piece.  I'll try and stop gushing about it for a little while, but basically, if you've been waiting on a commission for me I promise they're going to start coming out.  They won't all be over forty pages, and I hope nobody's upset by that.  Sometimes a story just needs more to really be what I want it to be, I guess, but they will take less than three months to write.

With that being said, I think it's probably best that I close commissions for a little while so I can really make progress on the ones I already have.  I also want to get back to doing some for "Flare Rising" once I've done that, and there's some possible plans for cool projects and collaborations in the future as well.  If you have an idea that you want to talk to me about for writing in the future, by all means continue to send me your notes.  A large part of my writing process is mulling these ideas over for a while and finding just how I want to plot the course of the story, so putting ideas in my head never hurts.  I just don't want to accept payments and commit to more projects at this specific exact moment.

For those that are interested in my personal life, too, I can say that the job search is still ongoing.  I filled out an application for The Express yesterday and it felt like I was playing Never Have I Ever with the fifty question personality survey I had to do.  "Have you ever helped yourself to more than $50 of in-store merchandise?"  "Everyone shoplifts a little when they're young, right?"  "Have you ever sent personal e-mails or texts while at work?"

I'm deeply concerned that honesty might not have been the best policy, but surely my genuine and truthful nature will be rewarded when they (never) interview me, right?

Other than that, I'm having tons of fun on, and I invite any fellow pokenerds to check it out, too.  It's a lot of fun to build goofy teams and annoy people, and I'm really looking forward to when they break out the lower PBV tiers so I can make use of some of my dumb creations like Eviolite Bronzor and such.

That's about it!  Mario Kart 8 is so soon and it'll probably consume a fair bit of my life, can't wait for that.  Can't forget about Mario Kart.  Seriously, though, go read "Laurel" if you haven't.  It's important, man.
So, I do try to keep my journal updates monthly and I guess I was getting just a little behind on this one, but here we are.  I know after my last update some of you adorable little things were a touch worried about me, but I'm doing almost totally fine.  What helps the most is that the plodding state government finally deigned to approve me for unemployment benefits, which removed a lot of the terror from my current situation.  So, while I still don't have a job or anything, I'm feeling just about one hundred percent better about life.

That being said, I do have a couple possible prospects on the way that have me pretty thoroughly jazzed.  I actually landed an interview for a management position at the only Ugg retail space in all of New England.  Whaaaaaat?  Exactly what I was thinking when they called me today.  There's also a job fair with Ann Taylor the same day and I've interviewed with them a couple times, so I feel like there's some good possibilities there as well.  Other than that I'm looking into some substitute teaching positions and finding it a lot harder to start a career as an educator, but we're going to move forward with that, too.

Oh man,  and also I found out my parents and sister, who live about 650 miles away right now, are going to be moving way closer over the next year and that's a hugely exciting thing for me.  They'll still be a good six-hour drive away, but seeing my family more than once a year and having them around to watch my amazing son grow up is such an awesomely cool thing.  Totally jazzed about that.

So, things are great!  In sexy women smashing unfortunate little weaklings news, I've been blessed to have quite a few people commission my work over the last month.  Writing has been coming along relatively slowly, but for everyone that's asked me to do something for them, let me assure you that I'm engaged in pondering structural plot ideas for most of your pieces.  I think I got a little carried away with the first story I'm working on and it looks to be on its way to 35-40 pages before I'm finished, so that's the real holdup before I get started on some of the shorter pieces I've been asked to do.  Look forward to the biggest thing I've written since "Flare Rising" to be coming soon, and that should break open the gates to a slow-rolling flood of new stories afterwards.

To my wonderfully supportive little friends who've encouraged me over the past month, thank you.  I'll be sure to squish you last so you can enjoy watching all the twisted things I do with everyone else.

Oh, and is surprisingly amazing fun.  For anyone with the tiniest bit of experience with RPGMaker, it's such an incredible and impressive project.  Check it out, I'm finding it distressingly distracting and enjoyable.